Being Uncomfortable

I wrote this back in June of 2010. I feel that I have not grown much since then. I don't think about "being white" I just am. Which makes me sad. You'd think that during the past four years here at Smith I would have learned to "be uncomfortable" in my own skin. I'm afraid that isn't true.

Recently (9/22/2014) a Smith Alum at a NYC forum sponsored by Smith shoved her foot down her throat by usng the "n" word. Which basically folks is NOT acceptable in any form of discussion whether written or spoken. It has caused much discussion here at Smith which is good.

Until next time...stay well and happy.

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Recently I attended a three-day training to become a facilitator to lead intergroup dialogues planned in the fall at Smith. The issues that will be discussed are on gender, race/ethnicity and class.

I participated in the race/ethnicity group dialogue and I listened to people describe how being "a person of color" is something they have to deal with everyday. From inappropriate comments such as “Can I touch your head?” or “Does your mother speak English?” to people just being down right nasty. OMG! What planet are these rude folks from?

From the same planet that I live on and that is where the problem lies. My being “white” has never been an issue for me. But it should be. My being white does not give me a free pass to be unaware of what life is like for people of color.

One of the participants mentioned that “being comfortable” in one’s white skin should not be an option. That to “be uncomfortable” would be a way to grow and stretch one’s self. And I agree.

So stay tuned to find out how it feels for me to stretch my skin.

Holding a Spot

More Gifts from Annie

Yesterday was Annie’s service. It rained most of yesterday and during the service. Mary said that her Mother believed that when it rains at a funeral that it is “tears from heaven.” It definitely felt that way. I came early to get a spot and it was a good thing that I did. The place was packed! It was standing room only. Another testament to what an amazing woman Annie was.

The service was lovely. There were cut flowers from Annie’s garden. Ozzie’s parents from Istanbul both spoke while Ozzie translated. Even though Ozzie’s mother was speaking in her native tongue you could hear the anguish in her voice. Annie’s amazing 10-year old daughter spoke ”If you see me walking around and wondering why I’m not crying, it’s because she will always be with me, and she’s not gone, her love is in everyone of you.” I definitely see a potential Smithie in Zeytin!

The service ended with a recording of Annie singing a song she entitled “Sweet Dreams for Ozzie” which can be found out on YouTube. Once she finished singing there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.

I experienced Annie’s presence in several ways yesterday. It all started in the morning. I decided to go to the Dog Park with Mary and our three dogs. I haven’t been to the park in well over a year due to health issues. I almost bowed out right before leaving but something told me to go. While we were there Mary and I met a lovely woman and her dog. This happens a lot at the park complete strangers will stop and chat. We had a lovely conversation and I was sad to see her go because there was something there and I knew I would never run into that woman again.

Wrong. Who do I see sitting two rows in front of me? Yes, it was her! After the service I went up to her and she was surprised to see me. I asked her how she knew Annie. She said they had worked together at Smith. I said I work there too! We then introduced ourselves and had a lovely chat. I hope I made a new friend yesterday and if I did - I have Annie to thank.

During the service someone mentioned that Annie loved getting coffee from Woodstar. Woodstar is a lovely coffee and bakery shop here in downtown Northampton. For me it is the only coffee shop in town where I can thoroughly enjoy a cup of good coffee. After the service I called Mary and said, “Meet me at Woodstar.” I explained I wanted to celebrate Annie’s life by toasting her even if it was with a large single-shot decaf latte! We clanked our cups and looked up into the heavens and wished her well.

We were sitting there and I was telling Mary all about the service. She stopped me and pointed to a figure behind me. It was Ozzie! He too came in Annie’s memory. We both hugged him. He thanked me for coming to the service. And, I mentioned that I had written a story called “Good-bye Annie” in my blog. Annie definitely had her hand in giving me more gifts to remember her by yesterday.

Thank you, Annie.

Good-bye Annie

Annie died Monday night, September 29, 2014, after losing her battle to ovarian cancer. She was only 41-years old, and the mother of a nine-year old and five-year old. She also left behind her husband of 22 years, Ozzie.

I knew Annie through Smith where she and I both worked. Also, I had met her husband, Ozzie, through a weekend job I held at a local Real Estate office where Ozzie was an agent. I never had the privilege to know her well or call her my friend. I first heard of her illness only a few months ago by a mutual friend.

Since then I have been following her through Facebook. I read an amazing interview she gave to Ayse Arman, a journalist from Istanbul. One of Ayse's questions to Annie was “How do you manage to be so strong?” Annie’s reply: “Do I have a choice? Maybe I won’t be alive in a couple of weeks. Actually, there is no maybe: I just won’t be alive. But I am alive today. And life is still beautiful, and so are my kids. One of them is 5, the other one is 9. I am trying to make the best of my last days with my kids and my husband Özgür. I’ve lived beautifully and I am dying beautifully. Hiding your head in the sand is not the solution. You have to face it, even if it’s death...”

“I’ve lived beautifully and I am dying beautifully.” What a statement. After reading this article I marveled at how accepting and together she was. She didn’t hide from the fact she was dying instead she gave death a run for its money. If I was told I was dying I’d either be yelling “why” or sucking my thumb in a corner. Not Annie.

She made videos, wrote letters and had quilts made for both of her children from clothing she had. She wrote a song for Ozzie. She planned a future for her family. What a brave wise woman.

Ayse also asked Annie if someone told you: “You have this much time left! What’s that like? What do people feel when they hear it?" Annie's reply: “Of course, it’s hard. It’s difficult to accept. However, I’ve always been an open person and I would want people to be open with me. I am a person who lives openly and I am dying openly. I wasn’t shocked. I didn’t experience a tantrum. I am not mourning. But I am sad. We are still so much in love with one another. I won’t be able to experience this love. I won’t be the mother of my children anymore (She cries). However, there is nothing else that I can do aside from accept it.”

Ayse's final question to Annie "Is there something called “dying beautifully?” Annie: There is, it’s me. 

She left a song she sung for Ozzie who found it after her death. Go out to YouTube and search for “Sweet Dreams for Ozzie.” One of these days when I’m down or blue I plan to listen to Annie sing it again. And, then I will pick myself up and march forward with my head held high. Thank you, Annie for giving me that gift.

My Hair

It's Friday! This was originally posted on August 28, 2008.  By the way, I changed my hair style three times in 2013. That might be a record high for me !

Until next time, enjoy!

                               

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Ex-husband #2, while he was married to me, felt that it was his mission in life to continue Mother’s legacy regarding my hair and its imperfections. In the dozen years we were together, I had more than that amount of different hairstyles and not all were my choice. It was never curly or wavy enough nor was it ever long enough to suit his tastes.

One of his favorite choices made me look like a poodle! It was extremely curly on top and straight on the sides. Yuck! One time I tried one of those zigzag hair bands. I showed up to pick him up and in front of his colleagues he said, “What did you do to your hair?” Absolutely nothing, thank you. You could tell by his inflection that I hadn't towed the line as was expected of me.

In my experience with the dynamics of a relationship, I've noticed that when a relationship is doing badly, one will withhold what the other so desperately wants. In our case, one of the many things he wanted me to have (the list was endless) was long hair and I just kept cutting it. Ear length, chin length, whatever, as soon as it started growing I had it chopped off. When we separated, I started growing my hair and by the time our divorce was final it had grown out nicely.Yes, he did comment on it. By the way, his favorite hairstyles were the ones that required hours of effort on my part, electric curlers every morning, hair products and a body wave every three months.

Now for reasons that are unclear to me, I've longed to be a redhead for years. I had several hair stylists tell me that I had the skin coloring and eyes to carry it off. Well… for my 43rd birthday, I had my hair color professionally changed. I loved it! I spent 11 years as a redhead and most of the time, folks thought it was my natural color. Even my GYN thought so and she should have known!

All good things come to an end. In the fall of 2007, I started reading articles about how “gray” is the new color for woman in their fifties. I decided I’d go to my natural hair color, whatever that was, with a lot of natural gray as highlights. So I went to my favorite hair stylist of the moment. By the way, in the four years that I've lived in Northampton, I have gone through six hair guru’s before I found my present one! I was never happy with the coloring job, or the hair cut or whatever. Because I never do anything half-way, I decided that I didn't want to go through the process of growing out the color. So she used a number 4 electric razor blade on my hair. Yep, not quite a cue ball, but close.

The majority of folks in Northampton and at Smith College liked it. They marveled at what a nice shaped head I have. That was a big gamble I took, because really who knows what kind of shaped head one has until you have no hair to hide under any longer. The ones who didn't like my new look either said so, or just ignored the fact that there were babies out there that had more hair than I did.

Ironic isn't it? Fifty-two years after my mother shaved my head, I go do it. The difference this time was that it was my choice. It wasn't forced onto me by someone else's desire for perfection.

The Dogs in my Life!

This was written in November, 2012, and not much has changed. All three dogs still run our lives which we are very thankful for. Fast Eddie's mantra "Dogs Rule!!!"

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Good Morning! This morning’s subject is about the three dogs that own Mary and I. They are Chloe, a Eurasier, Fast Eddie, a Puggle and Chancey, a Scottish Terrier. 

The morning routine for them goes like this. When getting them up in the morning, Fast Eddie is a slug and has to be pushed off the bed while the other two cooperate without problems. They all need their collars put on and for the boys harnesses as well. One of us has to chase Fast Eddie through the house to corner him to get his collar and harness on. Then there is getting them out the door and into the car. Fast Eddie must be put on a leash or he takes off and he doesn’t come back in a timely fashion. The other two know to just climb into the car. Then Mary takes them to a park near our home for a 30-minute walk. 

Once they come home they might need to be washed off depending on what muck they got into. Fast Eddie and Chloe both love rolling around where there is deer poop! Then once in the house feeding time begins. The whole time it takes me to prepare their breakfast, Fast Eddie is sitting under the kitchen table making a sound that sounds like steam coming out of a radiator because he's anxiously waiting for his meal. 

Ok, the food bowls are ready to go down on the floor! Fast Eddie’s goes down first on the kitchen floor. Chancey’s eats in the living and Chloe eats in the guest bedroom. This entire food arrangement is to keep Fast Eddie from eating their food as well, which is another whole story in itself. Meaning I’m running from one area to another to make sure that Fast Eddie behaves himself. 

Chancey is now done eating and needs to go out for his after meal jaunt in the front yard. Fast Eddie likes to follow to see if Chancey does a poop. I won’t even begin to tell you what Fast Eddie does with that! 

Now it is time for me to get ready for work and I have already spent too much time on the dogs. Oh yes, as I leave the house each dog has to have their individual blankets draped over them and they are each given a treat. I tell them “I’ll see you in a little while” which means I’m returning home at noon time to let them out, give them treats, cover them up again etc. etc. This is just a glimpse into how the two adult are wrapped around the paws of their three dogs! 

The Ant Invasion – Part 2

Friday, June 6^th – Many dead bodies later, a glass of wine and a visit from my wonderful “pest guy” and the herd has quieted down. Kevin did a major spray outside and down in the basement last night. They are still popping up here and there but he said that is expected.

He even sprayed the Oak tree by the study window and it may be the cause of the invasion. Some of its branches are resting on the house. I made an appointment for next Tuesday, no more oak tree, bye bye. The tree is in bad shape anyway. 

Kevin even sprayed the electrical, phone/TV cable wires coming into the house. It seems that is one of the many niffy ways for ants to come in to your home. Of course, they must climb the telephone pole which must take hours and hours before they hit the wire. High wire aerial act, would you ever have thought?

Saturday, June 7^th – News Bulletin: More reasons why I hate ants. I found one crawling up the side of my Mr. Coffee machine. Another was calmly walking across our check book on the kitchen table. ENOUGH!!!

Sunday, June 8^th – Still killing the suckers, go away NOW.

Monday, June 9^th – Every time I go into the study to work another pesky ant shows up. Yuck – I just killed another one. They are much easier to catch as they are moving slower and seem sluggish, so hopefully the spray is kicking their little old butts.

Wednesday, June 11th, will be the one-week anniversary of the invasion. By the two-week anniversary may this whole ordeal be just a distant memory.

Chancey's Obsessions

This wonderful story was written in December, 2008. I posted it earlier this year but very few people read the post so I decided to post it again. Some of you know that Chancey has a rare form of skin cancer and is Stage 5. With that said, he's a happy little character and enjoying life. Go Chancey go!!!

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Chancey, is the latest addition to our four-legged fur family. I dog-napped him this past summer while visiting a friend down in New London, Connecticut. She was dog-sitting him for a week while his family was on a business trip. They didn’t want him in the first place but their daughter did and then she moved to California and left Chancey behind. 

At the age of two: Chancey hated being walked so he pulled a great deal; he also had a great hostility of anything with wheels on it so he would charge at it while barking at the top of his lungs; he didn’t know any basic dog commands (sit, stay and do doggie commercials and bring home the mega bucks) nor was he potty trained. With that said, I wanted a better life for him. So I brought him home. Which then made him dog number three in a tiny house (1097 sq. feet) on a heavily-trafficked state road with no fenced-in yard. What was I thinking?

Episode #1 - I learned quickly that I was in way over my head having three dogs.The first hint happened when I took all three of them to the local dog park. I had Chancey on a leash but he was pulling so hard I let him off, which was a very stupid move on my part. Everything was fine until we met up with several groups of dogs. With all the doggie greetings involved, (barking, sniffing butts and a little bit of growing) he walked off with another group. By the time I got my wits about me and had the other two dogs under my control, I realized that I was missing the newest addition. Yikes! I walked around yelling for him but had no luck. I took Chloe and Fast Eddie back to the Jeep and went searching for him.

I was running around asking other dog owners walking their dogs if they had seen him. No luck! Finally, a woman with her own three dogs shows up with Chancey in tow. Yeah!!

Episode #2 – I didn’t have a tight hold on him while transporting him from the Jeep onto the kitchen porch. He quickly took off and headed East on Rt. 66 while running down the road using the double-yellow lines as his guide. With four knee surgeries, it is hard for me to move quickly much less run but run I did, and I scooped him up.

Episode #3 – We are back at the park and I’ve now learned to keep him on leash and use the Gentle Leader that a friend had given us. It was just the ticket when it came to keeping him from pulling and under control. We finished our morning walk and headed back to the Jeep. Both Fast Eddie and Chancey needed help getting up into the back. Then it was Chancey’s turn. My big mistake was removing the leash before lifting him up into the Jeep. He took off. I went after him leaving Chloe who jumped out of the Jeep with a fellow dog walker while Eddie was left in the Jeep. Right next to the parking lot is a large community garden which was in full bloom. Well, I couldn’t see him because he has such a low profile. His legs are only six inches long. He evidently returned to the parking lot where we re-united.

Episode #4 – A friend of ours came over for dinner this past fall. We were using a baby gate out on the kitchen porch to keep the dogs contained. In letting our friend onto the porch I created a small opening that Chancey used for his escape. I’m screaming for him to stop while I’m doing my version of jogging to catch up with him. Off he goes, again heading East following the double-yellow lines again! Now he’s a little black dog and with the light fading, it was hard for me to see him much less for the on-coming drivers. Of course, a woman waving her arms does slow traffic down a bit. The first driver stopped but the truck behind her moved around her and was heading directly toward Chancey and the driver didn’t see him. At this point, I felt something moving quickly pass me. It was Mary madly running. She hadn't had any knee surgeries like I've had so she’s still able to sprint. She had heard my screams from the house and knew it had to do with one of the dogs. She finally caught up with Chancey before the truck ran over him!

Episode #5 –Mary and Lisa had just gone shopping for our Christmas dinner and were unloading the groceries with Chancey jumping up and down on the porch. He was so excited that they had come home. Seeing the opportunity to make a run for it, he did. Both Mary and Lisa ran yelling and screaming after him as he again headed East on the double-yellow lines. This time is was light enough out for traffic to see him. Traffic came to an abrupt halt. Coming from the East was a large truck, the driver made a quick decision and turned his vehicle so it blocked the road. And, a pick-up truck coming from the West stopped traffic from that direction. Yeah, another possible disaster averted!

We’ve come to the conclusion that Chancey thinks he’s “Toto from the Wizard of Oz.” He is a terrier just like Toto was. He does hail from Kansas and he is obviously searching for that elusive yellow-brick road like so many of us are!

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P.S. Even after all these years of living with us, when Chancey has the opportunity to escape he will, and he always heads East using the double-yellow lines as his guide. Old behaviors are hard to break. Boy, am I a prime example of that!

The Ant Invasion

I hate all types of insects but today my hatred is aimed at ants. This morning there was an invasion of ants in the kitchen. I’d kill one and there was his replacement marching around. I stopped counting at 11. These guys were fighters. I had to really put pressure to the point where I heard the crunch sound. Yuck! They are on the large side of the scale, not carpenter ant size, thank goodness, but close. OMG – I just killed one on the wall next to the computer in the study (which is not near the kitchen). What the hell? Just killed a second one!!!

I’ve been to the local hardware store this morning and purchased spray that is safe for humans/pets but kills a variety of insects including ants. Which makes no sense to me how can it kill and still be safe???

I wonder as I spray and create a barrier if I’m just moving then to other sections of the house? Mary just called and said use vinegar and water in spray bottle instead. Easy for her to offer that suggestion, she is not being surrounded by them.

I’m exhausted and the battle isn’t close to being over.  I’ve called our “pest guy” several times but he’s not returning my calls. I hope he isn’t on vacation. If that is the case, I think he should have a backup person covering his calls just like doctors and dentists do.

I want to move where there aren’t insects, is there even such a place?

It isn't even Hump Day!

"I saw Live Camels in a Church Today" was one of my first postings and got buried among the many other postings I've written. So I thought, what the heck, a repeat camel story - just what all my reader's are craving for.

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Back on December 20^th I had no idea what I was going to do for Mary’s upcoming birthday. That night I went to a Christmas party held at the home of friends who attend our church. I was mingling and I heard a conversation about “The Boar’s Head Festival” and I butted in and asked what it was. Well by the end of the conversation I had purchased two tickets and started planning for Mary’s birthday surprise.

Trinity United Methodist Church in Springfield held their first Boar’s Head Festival in January 1984, as an epiphany gift to the greater Springfield area and has continued to do so. This year is their 31^st festival. And, do they know how to throw one! If you go out to Trinity’s website you can read about the history of the festival where the boar was the first dish served at great Roman feasts, nearly two thousand years ago. And, yes folks, there is a Youtube clip from last year’s event which is worth viewing. But what intrigued me when I first heard about it was that they have live animals participating in the festival. And guess what? They have camels, three of them walking around in the church!

Camels have intrigued me from the first time I saw one as a young child when my parents took me to see “Lawrence of Arabia.” I love that loping walk of theirs. And, the cute way they move their mouths. Have you seen the Gieco commercial with the camel in it? What a hoot “hump day.” Oops, I digress. Back to the birthday surprise for Mary.

I created a puzzle that consisted of pictures of the festival and bits of information that I gathered off of Trinity’s webpage. I put each puzzle piece into an envelope. Mary’s birthday fell on a Sunday and we hosted coffee hour after the church service which worked out perfectly. I gave out the envelopes to individuals with the instructions to walk up to Mary when we were singing “Happy Birthday” and give her their envelope. She ended up with 14 envelopes, one cake and a large package. Inside the package were two tickets to the festival and one stuffed camel! He’s so adorable.

Well, today, Sunday, January 12, we went to our very first and hopefully not our last “Boars Head Festival.” The talent and logistical efforts involved was just unbelievable. And guess what? After the camels made their walk down the aisle, each with their own handler, they went into an alcove right next to our seats!  I was no more than ten feet away from three very adorable but large snorting creatures. When they first made their appearance, I was jumping up and down and clapping my hands, I was so excited because all through the performance I had been waiting for that very moment. I was so thrilled. I can now check off from my "Bucket List" the desire to see camels close up and in person. And, did I mention that I saw them walking down the aisle of a church! Oh by the way, Mary enjoyed her birthday present as much as I did!

Chloe and Thunderstorms!

Really who needs the National Weather Service? Poor Chloe; she knows at least an hour before a thunderstorm will hit. She starts panting, pacing, and making very sad whimpering sounds. In past storms, she would go into the bathroom that has the ceramic flooring and tries to dig a hole into the tile. She picks the same tile every single time. She moves the bathroom rug covering the tile before she starts digging. I've always thought that was very considerate of her.

The other night, Chloe changed her digging habit to crawling into Chancey’s crate and staying there during the storm. For you folks who don’t know our dogs, Chancey, a Scottish Terrier, weighs in at 26 lbs. so we picked a medium size crate for him. Chloe, a Eurasier, weighs around 62 lbs. Yet, she managed to get into Chancey’s crate turn herself around and flop down with her paws sticking out. The point is Chloe found a spot where she could feel safe while the storm was in full swing.

It is not unusual for dogs to be afraid of lighting and thunder. For Chloe, it’s much more than that. Chloe and her brother were abandoned in an isolated area in Northern Virginia when they were just a couple of months old in 2003. I can’t image how they survived, but they did and were rescued when they were about six months old. Somehow, maybe getting into someone’s chicken coop, Chloe was shot and injured. To this day, she still has the buckshot in her, but it has not caused her any health problems.

Unfortunately, Chloe reacts strongly to loud sounds such as drums, nail guns and fireworks, to list a few. The 4^th of July is not her favorite holiday.  One year, the fireworks were so loud I had to lie on top of her to calm her down. I talked and told her Chloe stories during the fireworks presentation that was miles away in Easthampton.  Chloe loves hearing about herself as any Diva would.

We’ve had work done on our house when nail guns were used. We learned the hard way that when that happens, Chloe needs to be at Doggie Day Care. Our first episode was so traumatic to Chloe that she ended up hanging out in Mary’s car the entire day. We had a hard time convincing her to come back inside even after the contractor left.

Chloe is such a wonderful dog that we do whatever it takes to keep her calm during any loud episodes. She has an anti-anxiety pill we give her prior to a storm and that helps some except she gets a major case of the munchies afterwards. The dog crate may be our answer. Only time will tell.

For Jeeves’ Sake

I wrote a posting back in February about Jeeves. He’s my iPhone. At this very moment he’s having a little temper tantrum. A big tantrum would be one an iPad might have.  I made the mistake of telling him that the posting before him called “Trolling the Internet at 1 a.m.” has had 2,612 page hits as of today. Wow!!!

He asked what his numbers were and I told him 72. “Only 72?” he yelled. Did you know an iPhone can screech when he’s angry? He wants to know why his story isn’t as big a deal as the “trolling one.” He begged for another chance, so here it is.

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Jeeves

Well it is Tuesday night and I’m trying to figure out what to write. As I look around the room, my eyes focus on something. It is a small red plastic chair that just maybe a flexible Barbie could sit in. Now I don’t have a Barbie Doll collection, so why the little red chair? Well…it’s for Jeeves.

Jeeves is my iPhone and he comes with accessories. Come to think about it so does Barbie.  Jeeves comes with his own Bluetooth Jam Classic wireless rechargeable speaker, which looks like a small blue drum and it comes in a container that looks like a jam jar. That is just brilliant marketing. He also has a small platform that he can recline on while recharging, that hooks onto the charger while it’s plugged into a wall outlet. Lately he’s been letting the wireless speaker use it. Jeeves also has a pink stylus. My choice…not his. He would have preferred black. Well, I am the one using it to punch in letters and numbers as the keypad is small and getting smaller. Jeeves has resumed his workouts at the gym and has slimmed way down.

For Christmas, Mary gave me pink and purple stripped knitted gloves with little silver tips. These are for keeping my hands warm while I’m swiping or punching Jeeves’ keys when I’m outside in the cold. Suede gloves just doesn’t cut it on Jeeves smooth surface. On Jeeves’ Christmas list, he had asked for a fur liner for his Otter case. His Otter case is a necessity in case of sudden impact. I drop him a lot. And, let’s be realistic, Barbie may have a fur coat in her collection, but then she’s in a whole different league.

Back to the little red chair…what is that all about? It is a replica of the popular Danish "Egg" chair. Jeeves enjoys getting comfy in it when I’m listening to music on the wireless speaker. The little blue drum makes a great side table! Plus the chair gives him a safe environment to hang out in. I misplace him often since his Otter case is black and blends easily into dark surfaces. With the bright red chair, he’s hard to miss.

Last night Jeeves was trolling on the Internet. See? I’m not the only one! He found the tour of Barbie’s Malibu house on YouTube. He’s now thinking about moving to a warmer climate. Plus he keeps talking about location, location, location. He’s definitely been looking at too many houses on realtor.com!!!

Two Women, Three Dogs Trolling Mass Pike in the Wee Hours

Back on April 9^th, we left our house at 4:59 a.m. to head to Waltham, MA for Chancey’s oncology appointment at 8:30 a.m. We were told by friends that due to the morning rush hour traffic around the Boston beltway, getting on the road any later than 5 a.m. could result in our missing the appointment.

You might think that we just all piled into the car and drove off. Not as simple as that. Many details had to fall in place for us before we pulled out of our driveway. It started the night before. I emptied out all the contents in my car. Then I started adding. First, a vinyl liner and then a blanket spread out in the back of my car (thank goodness the back seat can be laid down). Second, two doggie beds, water bowl, a gallon bottle of water and extra leashes go on top of the blanket. The rest of these items were stacked behind the passenger seat. First bag, had individual baggies of kibble, one can of dog food and three bowls.  Second bag, dog towels to wipe them off if it should rain or they step in yuck, dog brushes (if they roll in the grass or tangle with a bush that has burrs on it) plus the little orange scoop to pull off ticks.  Third bag has miscellaneous items such as a map (never trust Google Maps), tissues, Advil, and directions to the clinic.

Now it is 4:30 a.m., I’ve loaded up the cooler with treats for us – muffins from Dunkin Donuts (purchased the night before) bags of almonds, oranges, apples, protein bars. I also filled up four drinking bottles of our filtered water and they went into the cooler as well. The cooler went on the floor behind the driver’s seat. On top of that were our coats and two bulky purses. We let the dogs out for one last pee before they got in the car. We got their collars on (which requires running through the house to capture Eddie) and load them into the back of the car. I did a final walk through, checking that all lights are off and no water is running, that the doors to the front yard and back are dead bolted (strong winds have popped the doors if they are not) and I've glanced around to see if I left anything behind. Oops, “Hey Mary, I thought you were already in the car!” It is now 4:59 a.m. and we are rolling out of the driveway.

Two things I noticed about being out and about at 5 a.m. in the morning. Lots of places are already opened. Such as McDonalds, gas stations and Dunkin Donuts! I could have gotten fresh muffins. I never asked them the night before what time they opened. Second thing, there are many more 18-wheelers than cars on the Mass Pike.

We made great time and ended up in the clinic parking lot by 6:45 a.m. They have a great doggie area that is very Zen like. A mobile hanging off a tree and metal dragon flies arranged on a wooden fence.  We let the dogs explore and then we piled back into the car to find a restroom and food for the mommies. We drove around and found a Panera Bread open and had an enjoyable breakfast while the dogs hung out in the car. Upon our return, I took Chancey for a walk around the shopping center so Mary could feed the other two. Because of possible blood work, Chancey had to wait for his breakfast. One of the stores we walked by was a pet store and they had shelves of dog food facing the window. Chancey could smell the dog food and he was jumping up and down wanting to tear open one of those bags.

We headed back to NEVOG, New England Veterinarian Oncology Group, for our appointment. The staff was so kind and thoughtful. When they learned that we had two other dogs in the car, they were invited in. Fast Eddie was having a great time in the examination room, Chloe not so. She started whining and got restless then Eddie chimed in too. Back to the car they went. We then met with Dr. Silver who explained to us how his cancer would progress and what the options were for Chancey. It made us feel better when we learned that this type of cancer rarely had any pain associated with it. She explained to us what we should expect and she thought that he had about six months to a year.

With that information, we headed back to the car so Chancey could have his breakfast. I walked both Fast Eddie and Chloe while Chancey had his breakfast. By now they had already forgotten they had been fed and would have gone for Chancey’s food. That folks, is how food fights start.

One memorable moment occurred on our way back home. We had stopped at a rest stop. Mary went in first and I followed. My mistake was I just got out of the car and walked away without saying anything to the dogs. That’s when the howling started. As I got farther from the car the louder they got. I was laughing and a woman looked at me. I said “Yep, those are mine” and she smiled. You could hear each distinct howl. When they are like this, we call them “Eddie and the Howlers.” Their new single should hit stores next month. What a hoot.

Until next time…

Just Heartbreaking

Back on March 17^th Chloe and Chancey had a spa day where they got washed and trimmed down for their spring do. When Chancey came home, I pointed out several white hairs which I hadn’t noticed when his hair was all curly. Each day more white appeared. With his fur turning white we joked that “Chancey was having a mid-life crisis and was turning into a Westie.” Our vet had seen Chancey twice in one week and was concerned about how much whiter he was getting.  At that point, she suggested a biopsy which was done on March 28^th. 

The results came back on April 2^nd.  Chancey has a rare skin cancer called Epitheliotropic Cutaneous Lymphoma.  It was decided that we would take Chancey to the New England Veterinarian Oncology Group (NEVOG) in Waltham near Boston to get a second opinion, which we did. We learned he is in Stage 4 and neither surgery nor radiation is an option. Chemo is the only option and we don't like the odds. Without any treatment, he has about six months to a year.

We are extremely sad and we are trying to deal with the waves of grief that keep hitting us. It is hard to accept that he isn’t going to grow old with us. He’s only seven and we thought we had many more years with him in our lives. I can’t image coming home one day and Chancey not being there to greet me. I’m crying as I write these words. It hurts so much. I want time to stop. I want this all to be just a bad dream and it isn't.

"The Good Wife"

I am still in denial and shocked over Will’s death in the “The Good Wife” that aired last Sunday (March 23, 2014). I’ve been in mourning for the past week about the death of a character in a T.V. show. How pathetic is that?  

‘The Good Wife’ runs on Sunday nights and I record it on DVR and I watch it on Tuesday evening when Mary’s at class. So for the first 48 hours after the show’s airing, I was not aware of the death of one of the show’s main characters. Ignorance is bliss. But the past few hours I’ve been walking around the house doing chores and saying “They killed off Will” and “Will is dead.”

The co-creators of “The Good Wife” were in a dilemma when one of their original actors, Josh Charles, who plays Will, decided to leave the show for greener pastures. Will’s sudden and unexpected demise during the last 20 minutes of the episode, caught loyal viewers completely off guard. These outraged fans went online to voice their hurt over the loss of Will.  And their continuing outrage caused the co-creators of the show to write an open letter to the fans explaining why killing Will off was the best option for their continuing story line.

When the series started in 2009, Alicia’s husband, Peter, who just happens to be the District Attorney at the time, cheats on her by sleeping with a prostitute.  So the first show of the series has Alicia standing by her husband during the press conference portraying “The Good Wife.” Alicia needs a job since she has left Peter and ends up at Will’s firm. While working together, the chemistry between Alicia and Will grows into a very complicated relationship. By the way, did I mention that Will is Alicia’s boss?

This season, Alicia leaves the law firm and starts her own. Will views this as a form of betrayal and he goes after Alicia and does all he can do to make her new firm fail. So begins their cat and mouse game of proving who is the better lawyer using all sorts of underhanded tricks. But when Will dies, everything changes for Alicia.

On Sunday night, one of Will’s clients loses it in the court room, grabs an officer’s gun and randomly shoots people. Will is hit by a stray bullet and bleeds out. One of the sadder moments is when his client is seen sitting nearby with the gun under his chin clicking the trigger over and over again because he has run out of bullets. The other sad moment was a shot of someone’s foot with a brown shoe and the other with just a sock on it and a trail of blood (which was Will’s).  I watched the ending of the show twice to understand that his character was gone forever.

The good news is Will is reappearing in some flashbacks for the next couple of episodes. When I think of Alicia paired with someone, it will always be Will. I can’t image anyone else.

I always envisioned that when the series finally ends there would be a scene where Alicia and Will are walking hand in hand into the sunset and they live happily ever after. We all know that only happens in T.V. or the movies. Alicia and I are both heartbroken and it will take some time for us to realize that Will is never coming back to be her friend, lover, or even her adversary. And, Will was my all time favorite "bad boy."

Where Has All the Customer Service Gone?

Mary and I joined the 21^st century when we recently decided to get wi-fi through Xfinity . While reading the instructions, it mentioned that a backup battery should be installed. We didn’t see the battery and we spent a lot of time looking for it in the box, and looking for it in the trash as well, and just couldn’t find it. Mary called them. They informed her that the battery did not come with the wi-fi box and that we would have to purchase it for a mere $45 through the Xfinity Voice Battery Backup line.

Mary goes ahead and orders the battery. When it arrived, she installed it and nothing happened. The battery just wouldn’t charge. The green battery light never appeared as mentioned in the instructions. Two months fly by and I finally get around to calling Xfinity Customer Service.

After making three phone calls and speaking to four individuals, I truly believe that Comcast’s customer support staff originated from the spawn of Beelzebub!

In my first phone call, I explained about the battery situation and that the green light was not appearing on the front of the box which meant that the battery was not charging properly. At this point, the Customer Service Rep would not continue the conversation until I gave her the serial number. She told me it was located on the front of the box. Wrong. It was on the back of the box, and due to the short cables, it was hard for me to turn it around to read the numbers. I had to move both a chair and a lamp and then scoot the desk out from the wall to get to the back of the box.

I finally read off a long series of numbers to her and then she asks me why I was calling. This is when I had a true Juan Pablo moment - he’s the rude guy on The Bachelor who chided the host for interrupting him. I interrupted her and said, “You are not listening to me. I told you in the beginning of this conversation what the problem was.” She said, “Sorry...I can’t hear you and you should call back to the Xfinity Voice Battery Backup line” and then she hung up on me.

I immediately called back and person #2 kept me on the phone for a total of 12 minutes with many minutes of silence between each question he asked me. I had to say on two occasions “Are you still there?” because all I could hear was background noise of people talking. He finally came back on the line and said, “We will send out a new battery.” Yeah!!! I was then informed that I would have to personally return the first battery to the nearest Comcast store. For us, the closest one to us is 45 minutes away which does not make me jump up and down with joy about returning it.

My third call of the day…I’m looking at my notes and I realize that the battery is called the “voice battery backup” and I wanted to be sure that I really needed a battery for the wi-fi since I wasn’t using the phone jack on it for our phone service. Person #3 told me the battery was only for the phone and that it wasn’t meant as a backup for the wi-fi if the power goes out. At this point I’m so frustrated that I’m making strange sounds instead of intelligible words (I was envisioning practicing my high dive off the nearest cliff). Then she said, “I’m transferring you to our technical service department.”  

This is just getting better by the minute. I spoke to person #4 and explained the entire battery situation again and that the woman I just spoke to informed me that the battery was only for the phone service and not for our wi-fi if we lost power. Person #4 said the battery was for both the phone and wi-fi t if here is a power outage. Why didn’t the previous person know that? Aren’t they given any training???

His next comment was priceless - he informed me that we must have installed the battery incorrectly. I took a very deep breath and said, “Well if this second battery that is being mailed to us doesn’t work, I will call back for instructions about how to install a battery.” Because at that point all I wanted to do was scream at the top of my lungs at this individual that I felt that the entire Xfinity Voice Battery Backup staff was a bunch of untrained idiots, but for a change I kept my mouth shut. I thanked him politely for his helpful assistance and wished him a nice night and hung up.

I now have bruises on my forehead from hitting my head repeatedly on the kitchen table after this last conversation. All I can say is that second battery better work or mayhem will ensue.

Until the next time…

Update: The second battery was the wrong size. The only reason I cared about having a battery was the instructions said to “install the backup battery.” Word to the wise – don’t always rely on instructions as whoever is writing them may not know what they are talking about.

My Morning so Far

My morning as of 8:15 a.m. 

·        Walked around the house and opened all the curtains

·        Made the bed

·        Made my coffee

·        Emptied the dishwasher of clean dishes. And, tried to find room for all of our coffee mugs. Why do we have this many mugs? Is it really necessary? I had to stack them on top of each other which I know is frown upon by management.

·        Ate a bowl of yogurt with some cereal thrown in for fiber

·        Folded a load of laundry

·        Put on a wash of towels

·        Put that load of towels in the dryer to dry

·        Emptied out the kitchen compost container into the container we take to our local dump on Saturdays.

·        Finally, drank my coffee

·        Emptied four wastepaper baskets into the kitchen trash can and took it to the outside trash can. Why do we have four wastepaper baskets plus the kitchen trash can?

·        Did poop patrol in the back and front yards. Some of it had frozen in the snow and I had to use a shovel to dig it out.

·        Put a 12-foot plastic flex-drain on one of the down spouts in case it rains today. Too much snow close up to the house so I wanted the water to drain away from the house and not into the house.

·        Fed the bunny – he got a large carrot (no greens because this wasn’t an organic carrot) and slices of cabbage. To put his food in the spot we normally put it, I had to move a lot of the hay that Mary had placed there. She was told that the bunny would use it in his nest and eat some of it as well. From what I can tell he is not a fan of hay.

·        And, now off to earning a living. I'm exhausted all ready and my day has only begun.

More Fast Eddie Adventures!

This positing was written in December, 2008. Eddie had just turned two the past October and was still very much a puppy. Five years later he still has not graduated out of Puppy 101. Eddie is a goof ball and that is quite obvious when you meet him. There are many more stories about him coming up that will make you smile and laugh. This October he will turn eight, in his early years, I never thought he would live past the age of five because of all the things he ate. But thankfully, he has a cast-iron tummy!

                             *****************************************

Of Fast Eddie’s nine emergency visits so far, three have been related to cuts to his paws while running off leash at the Old Hospital Grounds here in Northampton. The first one was rather minor he cut himself running on an icy path. I had no idea that dogs can get injured on ice obviously I haven’t had any Iditarod experience with dogs in icy conditions. That incident resulted in a couple of stitches and no park visits for a week.

The next one was a little bit more serious. Eddie was running around at the park and went into the woods where he sliced open the toe pad of his paw. With several stitches and orders to keep him from jumping or running around for two weeks, we went home. The vet’s concern was if this didn’t heal properly, his toe pad might have to be removed. We knew we couldn’t keep him from not being a Mexican jumping bean, but we did try. With that said, several days later he leaped off of the three-foot high retaining wall in our backyard and split open the stitches. In spite of his dare devil leap, his toe pad finally healed but it is now a very odd shape. Well, there goes the idea of using Eddie as a paw model to pay off his vet expenses!

The most expensive incident so far, again at the park, and with only seconds to go before getting Eddie back into the car, he ran off into the woods and came out limbing and bleeding heavily. Poor Mary brought him home and just wanted to wash all the blood off of him. I took one look and knew that he had cut tendons. We quickly headed up (on a Sunday morning, no less) to the Veterinary Emergency & Specialty Hospital in South Deerfield near Yankee Candle.

The vet, Dr. L. knew Fast Eddie from previous park experiences. She knew Mary’s ex-partner and when she found Eddie running around the park one day with no adult supervision, she called her to get Mary's number. At the time, Mary was madly searching for the elusive Eddie at the park. Dr. L. also knew of some of Eddie’s previous exploits with the snake and the mouse (that will be explained in a future posting).

Well, the diagnosis was that his tendon had been cut, probably from a broken bottle of which many litter the woods. Thank you, you moonlight booze-hounds for throwing your bottles around and leaving dangerous broken glass that can injure humans and animals! He had minor surgery with internal and external stitches needed to repair the damage. They wrapped him in a huge cast-like bandage with splints to protect his limb. Dr. L. cleverly created a pumpkin “iron-on patch” for the bandage since it was so close to Halloween.

We were told he had to wear a cone (Elizabethan collar) for his entire recovery period of four weeks or more, and he would need to get the bandage changed on a weekly basis with our local vet. And thus began the tug of war with his bandage. Eddie and Chancey (our third dog) love to play tug of war, but this was the first time Eddie could do it all by himself.

 He didn't like the cone so we didn't make it a priority for him to wear it. Big mistake on our part. So he just kept pulling and chewing on his bandage which resulted in a total of eight bandages! Oh, did I mention that at some point he broke the splints and had to get them replaced too. Isn’t he special!

The idea that one could keep Eddie from doing something he‘s not supposed to do is rather humorous. That boy lives to chew and destroy. It’s his mission in life…one he does quite well.

Eddie is still recovering even though the splints and bandages are now off. He still favors the leg and when outside hops around on three legs. Once he’s fully recovered he will return to his daily walks at the park which really turn out to be flat out sprints. 

Another Day..and the Saga Continues

This posting was originally written and posted in January 2009. I wrote this when Mary's friend, was temporary camping out with us until her new condo became available. Her dog, Tyler, and her African Gray Parrot, Justice, were staying with us as well.

                            *********************************************

At this moment in our lives, we have three women, four dogs, and a handicapped African Gray Parrot living in 1,197 square feet of house. And, it is working out much better than the three of us had ever hoped for. But, there are days when it is a freaking zoo around here!

Take yesterday for example. I was taking a break after getting home from my Saturday job. Two of the dogs started barking because they heard something out on the road. I look out and it is the furniture delivery truck arriving 2 ½ hours sooner than we had expected!

Thankfully, Mary and Lisa had spent time in the basement that morning re-arranging all of Lisa's boxes so there was a cleared area. But, we had planned for the delivery to go through our outside cellar doors and we hadn’t cleared off the snow. Lisa went out in her house slippers and cleared it off while the truck was backing into our driveway. With Mary’s help, they both moved garbage cans and shoveled a walkway from our driveway to the cellar doors. This is with four dogs loudly barking and running back and forth wanting to go outside and poor me wishing for ear plugs and trying to calm them all down.

Fast forward - the furniture has made it to the basement with only minor drama. But now someone is knocking on the kitchen door and the dogs go berserk, again! I squeezed past four dogs to see who it was. It was the delivery driver wanting me to sign paperwork. I explained to him that one of our dogs doesn’t like strangers and that was why I was making every effort to keep her from them.

In the meanwhile, I couldn’t figure out where Mary and Lisa were, but I went ahead and signed the paperwork. As the driver headed toward his truck, I asked him if Mary had given him his tip. He said “No” just as Mary barreled around the corner of the house. She’s yelling, “You locked the basement door and we couldn’t come up through the house!” So I ran back into the house trying to keep the dogs from pushing their way out and I unlocked the basement door. I find Lisa standing on the steps saying “there is a missing table leaf,” while I am handing her the signed paperwork! She squeezes through the mass of fur and goes out to talk to the driver.

It was decided that the driver needed to come in to the house to look at the table in the basement. But thanks to my earlier statement about Chloe, he didn’t want to. So, I had to get a collar on Chloe, walk her to the other end of our house, and hang out in the study with her. She wasn’t a happy camper, but with lots of encouragement and a few dog treats, we made it through this latest hurdle. Come to find out, the table only has one leaf, so all is right in furniture land.

So this is my life right now: four dogs barking, one handicapped parrot talking a mile a minute, and three women all living under the same roof. Life is good.

Until the next time...

My Red Cowboy Boots

Years ago, I would never have imaged a woman as my soul mate, nor would I have imagined being ruled by three dogs, and definitely not the owner of red cowboy boots. I was raised in Nebraska but in the city of Lincoln, cowboy boots were not normal apparel.

A couple of years ago, I was reading a book, cannot remember the title and the main character, a woman, had wanted red cowboy boots before she was sixty. How interesting. I thought that’s cool and added them onto my “bucket list of what I want in my lifetime.”

Well, in November of 2012, they came into my life during “Bag Day.” It is a yearly shopping event held in Northampton and you can get a 20% discount at any of the stores listed on the bag. I’m the type of woman who salivates when she hears the word “sale.” So I’m walking around and end up at Strada Shoes. Oops! They carry expensive brands of shoes and boots which are well worth the investment. Over the years, I have made several purchases from them and have never regretted the cost since the quality of the brands they carry is excellent. Guess what? They had the most beautiful pair of red cowboy boots. Here’s the clincher they had them in my size and I could use the 20% Bag Day offer. Sold!!!

They became the most comfortable foot covering I’ve had in years. A month later, for my birthday present, Mary purchased the tan version!  Next came the brown suede, on sale of course. Then there are the wild black zipper studded ones, on sale at Kohl’s for $28. Latest purchase a pair of burgundy ankle boots on sale, of course!  Boot collection is now up to seven! Running out of room in my closet, so one pair is now residing in the living room coat closet.

I had an errand to do yesterday and I stopped at Faces (a store which a friend of Mary’s describes as “Pier 1 on Crack”), “to browse”.  I found, and purchased, a cute little sign that is now proudly displayed on my office desk.
                                                                                                                              

GIVE A GIRL

THE RIGHT BOOTS

AND SHE CAN

CONQUER THE WORLD 

Amen, sister! 

Flash back Friday's entry is about three women, four dogs, one handicapped African Gray Parrot living in 1,097 square foot house. What can I say?

Until then, cheers!

Mary said “Yes”

So for all of you who read my Valentine’s Day posting, you know what “yes” means. For those of you who have not, go read it!

The two of us are excited about having this ceremony that will honor our ten years of being legally married in the state of Massachusetts. Plus, it is a great reason to have a “kick-ass party!” which is really what this is all about.

Wedding outfits - do we tell each other what we are wearing before the ceremony? Mary says it’s “too hetero,” her new term for not following the traditional marriage ceremonial rights. That maintaining the tradition of what dress the bride will wear as a secret would be difficult especially since there are two brides. She does have a point. Our house is small and hiding our outfits would be difficult. Plus, my keeping what I’m wearing a secret is going to be extremely difficult. When I find the right dress, I’m going to want to tell everyone!

Party favors - when I mentioned a glass mug (design: small mason jar with glass handle), with our names and the date of the service, Mary just rolled her eyes and shook her head! Not a positive response. I looked into it; great idea, but very pricey. I could get plastic cups and write our names and the date on them instead!

Music - we have a number of friends who are talented and might want to participate in the music portion of our “kick-ass party”. Mary is thinking “boom box.”

Food – we have agreed that it will be catered. When Mary mentioned making a couple of dishes as well, I gave her that “oh you are not” look. We have agreed that this portion of the venue is her “thing” as long as she orders out, so I have agreed to stay out of the food planning.

Decorations – my department. The church will still be beautifully decorated from the holidays, so that is one less thing on the “to-do list” to have to think about. I will get to have the fun of decorating Kidder Hall where the “kick-ass party” will be held. And, I have already picked out the colors for the table linens.

Guest List – well after only 48 hours we have 128 names! I’ve already started a spreadsheet with the names and addresses. We are going to send out two waves of announcements. The first will be “save the date.” Mary checked on the Internet and found that piece should be sent out four to six months before the event. To be safe - I’m already telling people to mark it on their calendar! The second wave will be the “official invitation” and Mary knew that should be about six weeks before the ceremony.

So this is just the start, and we do have ten months and 12 days to make this all work. My concern is this enough time for me to find the “perfect dress” to wear to this shindig?

Mary's Very Special Valentine's Gift!

I don’t consider myself very romantic. I’m not one to surprise Mary with something unexpected until now…that part comes at the very end!  For several weeks, I’ve tried to come up with a gift to give her for Valentine’s Day 2014. This will be our 11^th Valentine’s Day together, and I wanted to do something special. Flowers, candy, stuffed bears holding little hearts, all possibilities but not what I was looking for. I wanted Mary to know how blessed I feel, every single day, that she is in my life.

So to the only woman who I will ever love…

        *************************************************************

My Darling Mary,

Our first contact was in March of 2001, when I started working for your brother as his Office Manager for his consulting firm in Leesburg, Virginia. He named the various family members who would be calling him at the office. When he came to you, he described you as “my gay sister, Mary”. I found it very interesting that he didn’t put any labels on your other two sisters. It didn’t faze me that you were gay, and it didn’t stop me from enjoying our phone conversations for the next two years. The conversations were harmless we discussed your partner of many years, my husband, and the unexpected obstacles that happened while on our life’s journey.

We didn’t meet until March 2003, when you flew down from Massachusetts to celebrate your brother’s 60^th birthday. I have this habit of greeting the people that I treasure with my arms straight out, and a huge grin on my face. That was your very first official encounter with me, do you remember that moment?

We had so much fun that week! I felt I had found my “best friend,” and it was such a wonderful feeling. I enjoyed your humor and your infectious laugh. I also liked it that you enjoyed my company. And, that you didn’t point out my faults as other’s who were in my life at the time were doing. You even invited me to come see Western Massachusetts, the Pioneer Valley area, and all the wonderful things that make it so special.

So you went back to Massachusetts, and your partner of nine years broke up with you because she had found the “love of her life.” You had no place to call home so you moved to Leesburg in the fall of 2003 to live and work for your brother. In October, you changed my entire life with five little words. They were “I’m aching to kiss you.” I’ve never regretted that kiss or any of the upheaval that was caused by the ending of my marriage.

In 2004, we moved to Northampton with our dog, Chloe, and began our lives together as a family. We purchased a home with good “bones” though it needed a lot of work to get to our standards. I wanted a dishwasher, you wanted central air conditioning, and, Chloe wanted a puppy. We all got what we wanted, plus much more.

So here we are - still together and it is now 2014! At the end of this year, we will legally be married in the state of Massachusetts for ten years! Wow!!!

  **So here comes the surprise part that I mentioned earlier**

Dearest Mary,

I’m planning a special service to bless our marriage of ten years at our church, All Saints’ Episcopal, on Sunday, December 28^th at 4:00 p.m. I am inviting friends and family to this very important event in our lives. After the service we are going to have one kick-ass party with catered food, meaning you won’t have to cook! What do you think? Will you join me on December 28th to celebrate our ten years together?

Happy 11th Valentine’s Day, Darling!