This incident I’m about to share happened during 1995 to 1997
while I worked at IBM. It was so traumatic that I had erased it from my memory.
At least I thought I had, until recently.
I was clearing out the basement as part of the process of
selling our home. I found a stack of cards and notes that I barely looked at as
I was tossing them out. One piece of paper caught my eye and I pulled it out.
It was the letter I wrote to IBM Human Resources back in 1997 about the
treatment I experienced from my supervisor. I read it, the despair and
frustration that I had felt over 20 years ago surfaced up.
I worked as the Customer Service Supervisor for IBM’s
infoMarket project from 1995 to 1997. The first year I was a consultant and then
I was hired full-time in April of 1996 by Ed.
Two months earlier, I stopped Ed as he was exiting a senior
staff meeting. I was concerned about some information I had on a pending
release of our service that had a major bug. This would have greatly impacted
my staff by producing a significant increase in the number of calls they were
normally handling.
When I began relating this to Ed, he started shouting at me,
saying he was “tired of my whining and complaining.” I was shocked at his
behavior and asked if he wanted to talk in his office. This resulted in even
more yelling, and then he just walked away. I was extremely upset and
displeased because two of my staff had witnessed his behavior and c0-workers
heard him as he was quite loud.
When I was interviewing in April for the full-time Customer
Service Supervisor position, I brought up the incident to Ed. His reaction was
that I played a much greater part in it than he had, therefore he had nothing
to apologize for. I just couldn’t understand his attitude, but I didn’t pursue
it because I wanted to be an IBM employee.
I attended weekly staff meetings where we reported the status
of our individual groups. Often after my presentations, I would get a lot of
negative feedback directed as criticism which I felt was inappropriate. Ed did
not criticize any of his other staff, who were males.
In November 1996, I approached Ed and explained how I felt,
hoping this would put a stop to my humiliation. To promote even further
understanding, I confided to him that I had recently been placed on an
anti-depressant. I also mentioned my childhood background of abuse. I brought
up the February incident again and reiterated how hurtful it was. This time he
was very apologetic, and at the end of our conversation he gave me a paternal
type of hug.
After that discussion, I noticed some improvement in his
behavior to me, especially during the staff meetings. I was no longer a target
for his criticisms. However, another issue began to develop, and it became more
prevalent in 1997.
Ed began telling stories of his past sexual conquests during the
staff meetings. Again, I was the only female present. Whether alone or with
others, it made me extremely uncomfortable. I always tried to find an excuse to
leave. Once Ed mentioned to me that he and his wife were not getting along
sexually and that he had cheated on her many times over the years. I wondered
why he was telling me such personal details. I had always conducted myself in a
professional manner with him. I never led him to believe that I was interested
in him.
In July of 1997, Ed informed me that there was going to be
some shifting of personnel. The Office of Registration and Billing Operations customer
service would merge with my staff to consolidate the overhead expenses of
running two customer service desks at the same site. He told me we would meet
with “Harold” to go over the transition of the merging of his staff with mine.
About ten days later, Ed showed me a joke, it was about what
people in different departments must do to advance up the corporate ladder. He
called my attention to where it described the only way a customer service
manager could advance was to sleep with her supervisor. I laughed and said
something like, “No way, never!” I was hoping he was just joking, but even so I
still felt it was inappropriate. I began to wonder what was going on.
The following week Ed made an announcement in his weekly staff
meeting that the Office of Registration and Billing Operations would be getting
my staff instead of the other way around. This meant that I would no longer be
a supervisor.
Ed and I talked after that meeting and he suggested I find a
job in Marketing or Support Services. I was upset by all of this and at the time
I couldn’t understand what was happening and why I was being pushed out of
Operations.
I was able to find a position in Support Services. I went by
Ed’s office to say good-bye. He said that since he and I were no longer working
together we could have an “LTR.” I asked what he meant, and he replied that it
was a “Long Term Relationship.”
Ed then went on to explain how it would work - such as meeting
up on Tuesday and Saturday afternoons. I said, “No thanks,” and I walked away.
Finally, it was clear to me what his intentions were toward me. I was relieved
to no longer be in Operations and working directly for him.
In mid-November there were rumors of impending lay-offs. I was
informed by my manager, “Sarah,” that I was going back to Operations to be part
of the Transition Team that was being formed to sell off infoMarket. I thought
about this and realized that Ed would be my boss again.
When I asked Sarah if I
could simply take the severance package that was being offered to other staff
members instead of being a member of the Transition Team, she said I didn’t have a
choice.
On Monday, November 24th, I decided to tell Sarah
and another manager “Jane”, about the ongoing situation with Ed. Both advised
me to put the events in writing and contact Human Resources. The next day Ed
came to my desk and he stood so close to me that I couldn’t move away from him.
He said, “What are you up to?”
I wondered about the timing of his visit, just one day after I
mentioned my concerns regarding him. I paged Sarah and asked if there was any
chance that he might have been told of my discussions with them. She wasn’t
sure and said she would get back to me.
The day after Thanksgiving, November 28th, I went
to get a manicure. I was exiting the nail salon when I noticed a male walking
towards me as I neared my car. He had on a baseball jacket and cap with the
brim pulled down as far as it could go, so at first, I didn’t realize that it
was Ed. He said something like he was homeless, and could I spare him some
money or find him work. Then he changed his tone and asked me how my
Thanksgiving was. I don’t remember what I said to him, but I quickly got into
my car. He got into his SUV and started following me. At the intersection, I
slowed down until the light turned yellow and gunned it. Ed stopped for the red
light.
I drove home crying and I kept looking to see if he was
following me. From home, I called Sarah and a co-worker, to tell them of the
incident and how upset and frightened I was.
After that incident I was afraid to be alone during the
holiday weekend. I called a friend who stayed with me until my roommate came
back on Sunday.
I became more cautious after Ed’s strange behavior. He knew I
stopped at Starbucks every morning. I started scanning the parking lot before
getting out of my car. Also, I would wait until someone was leaving the store, so
I wasn’t alone as I exited. I started to ride the freight elevator to avoid running
into him. I began parking in different locations each day in the parking
garage. And, I had co-workers escort me to my car at the end of the day.
In December, I went to IBM's Human Resources Department in Bethesda, Maryland and sat down with “Maureen”
who was assigned to investigate my complaint. I explained in detail what was
happening. I know she spoke to several people including Ed. In mid-December, I met
with Maureen again. I was told that Ed had been talked to and he understood
that he needed to stay at a distance or there would be repercussions.
Sometime in early January of 1998, I was given the severance
package that was given to other employees who were being laid off. This is the
same package I asked about in mid-November, where Sarah had said I didn’t
qualify for but now I did. By accepting that package, I ended my career with
IBM.
On January 12, I was pulling out of a parking space near
Starbucks when I noticed that Ed was parked a few cars from mine even though
there were plenty of other spaces further away. This incident was so upsetting
that I have no memory on what happened next.
On January 21, I was driving near my home. I looked up and Ed
was right behind me, he then changed lanes and was driving along side of my
car. I slowed down but then realized I’d be stuck at the light, so I sped up
and so did he. When I turned off onto my street, thankfully he didn’t follow
me.
I contacted Maureen and told her what had occurred. Her
comment was that Ed lived nearby and he had to use the same road as I did to
get to his home. And, that he had every right to be on that road even when I
was using it. I was floored by her response.
After that call, I realized that IBM had done nothing to
protect me from Ed, nor would he suffer any repercussions for his behavior.
Unfortunately, because of that phone call, I felt that I was
at fault for a situation that Ed had created. Because of the #MeToo movement, I now
see that what I experienced was not my fault.
It was sexual harassment from a man who had the power to convince
management to ignore his behavior regarding one of their female employees and to
not be punished for his unscrupulous conduct.
Thanks to the #MeToo movement – the environment where men could
treat women in the workplace as toys - is changing. Women now have a “voice”
that is being heard by the public and management. May changes in the
workplace environment for woman continue.
