Thursday, December 31, 2020

What is Your Definition of Compassion?

 From the Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, the definition is “sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.” That sounds like someone spent many years in therapy to come up with that one!

Compassion comes out of personal pain and frustration. If you were one of the lucky ones who got a date for the prom, how would you be able to understand the pain of never being asked? 

Well, for some folks it comes naturally. They “get it” without living that moment of pain or frustration. For others, they never “get it” and this is what I am writing about today.

Barbara Sher (author and speaker), uses a term, “infant narcissist.” When we are born, we are all one of these. As a child, all our needs are taken care of. We are dependent on adults for our survival, but as we grow, we move past that. Our need for connection plays a part in caring and wanting to help others, meaning, it isn’t all about us. 

We’ve all known or have met a person who just doesn’t understand that everyone else’s life doesn’t revolve around his/hers. President Donald Trump comes to mind. The narcissist lacks the compassion to understand that we all need understanding from one another.

In essence, we should be grateful for all the pain and frustration we’ve gone through in our lives. Because of it, we gain connection with each other. Compassion equals connection, and without it, we can’t be the caring human beings that most of us strive to be.

I’ve made many mistakes in my life, and I’ve hurt a lot of people in the process, much to my regret. When I did, it was because I lacked the compassion to understand the harm I was causing. As I've gotten older, my ability to feel compassion toward others has improved. I'm so thankful for that.

Due to all the traumatic events that happened in 2020, many people lost their ability to be compassionate. Lets hope that changes in 2021.

Until the next time...

Saturday, December 26, 2020

Our 2020 Christmas Newsletter written by Miss Gracie (the Sheltie)

 

Dear Friends and Family,                                                   Christmas 2020

     This year's newsletter is being written by me, Miss Gracie, the Sheltie. My ancestors come from Scotland! My mommies let Fast Eddie write the last one (in 2018), so now it's my turn! You didn’t hear from us last year because we were all very busy with me.

     I turned one this past May! Oh, you may be wondering where I came from. Mommy Sharon found me at a pet shop in July of 2019, when I was eight weeks old. She looked in my face and said, “Hello Gracie”, so she had to take me home. She had told her friends that she would “never, ever buy a dog from a pet shop.” Oops!

     Talk about drama. She got me without talking to Mommy Mary first! But Mommy Sharon had to make a quick decision or someone else would buy me. There was a woman in the pet shop who asked Mommy Sharon, “Could I hold her for a minute?” Mommy Sharon said “No.” She knew I was already hers.

     Mommy Mary was working out-of-state (Massachusetts) and was facing a big deadline that day, so Mommy Sharon didn’t call her until after supper. When Mommy Mary returned home the next night, she loved me right away. Who wouldn’t? She said I belonged to the mommies and Fast Eddie and there was no sending me back!

     Fast Eddie, my Puggle-brother, turned 14 years-old in October. He pretends he doesn’t care about me, but he does. If one of the mommies takes me out without him, he starts barking and won’t stop until I get back. He loves me!!! And I love him too. He’s an old man, but he is healthy, and he can still run. (He’s FAST Eddie, after all).

     We are still living in our apartment. It’s on the third floor. My mommies complain all the time that they want a house with a fenced yard so they could just open the door to let us out. But they also say they are grateful to be here.

     Fast Eddie and I know there is this scary thing called “the pam-dem-ick.” Not sure I have that right. Anyway, it works out for us because the mommies are home all the time now. We love it!  We go out at least four times a day and sometimes even more. Mommy Mary is working from home so sometimes we have helpers to walk us.

     This year, Mommy Sharon is going all out decorating for Christmas. Last year, because I was still a small puppy, there weren’t so many decorations. They were afraid I would charge the tree or eat the ornaments. I don’t like it when things are moved or are different. Mommy Sharon says, “I have issues.” Especially when I chase birds and try to fly.

     We want to wish you all Happy Holidays and a wonderful happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year.

Mary, Sharon, Fast Eddie, and Miss Gracie

Sunday, December 20, 2020

Woman with the "heavy" 30 lbs. Child (True Story)

 

This story is about an incident that I witnessed at my local post office this past week. Due to the mailing deadline set by the post office, there was a long line of customers. Everyone was being patient and respectful except for the woman with the 30 lbs. child.

She was ahead of me and I noticed two things. That she had a super-large shopping bag with gifts; and she was carrying a child (not a baby).

I did not give her further notice until I heard her raised voice. I looked over to the counter where she was. She had two packages wrapped in Christmas paper tied with red ribbon. No boxes and no brown wrapping paper within sight. She was shipping both out of the country.

There were labels to fill out and the postal employee politely asked her to move over to the empty window so that other people could be helped while the woman was filling out the labels. When she was done, she could come back to the window.

Scene 1: The woman said using a loud voice that she was being kicked out of line and she did not find that acceptable. At this point, she mentioned the 30 lbs. child and how heavy he was. She refused to move.

Scene 2: The postal employee again asked her to move to the empty window so that she could help others in line. The woman would not budge and started complaining of poor service.

Scene 3: The postal employee decided not to push it further and started the steps required for packages going out of the country even though the labels had not yet been filled out. As the postal employee was weighing the first package the woman turned the package around on the scale to get the address. Again, the woman mentioned the 30 lb. child she was holding and how heavy he was.  

Scene 4: The postal employee said she would no longer help her until what she needed from the woman was completed.

Scene 5: The woman said something to the postal employee that I did not hear. At this point, I heard the postal employee say, “You cannot talk to me like that.”

Scene 6: At this point things got a little crazy and the postal employee told her to leave the building and come back when she had the packages completely ready for shipping.

Scene 7: The woman said that no one in line was complaining. That was true, but I bet they all were in their minds, because I was having an entire conversation with that woman holding the “heavy” 30 lbs. child.

Scene 8: This was when I stepped up and said, “If I were arguing with the postal employee about the rules and holding you up, I bet you would have told me to move along.”

Scene 9: She looked at me like I was dirt on her shoes and said, “Stay out of this.” I gave her my best death stare that I learned from my own mother. She was not impressed.

Scene 10: The woman said to the postal employee, “Were you raised by wolves?” several times.

Scene 11: The woman said she was going to report her and asked for the postal employee’s name which she gave without hesitation.

Scene 12: Finally, after much muttering and head shaking, the woman left the building with her packages and her very heavy 30 lbs. child.

My Part 1: I got to the counter and asked the postal employee if she was okay. She said she was, but I could tell that she was shaken up about what had just happened.

My Part 2: We then proceeded to handle the mailing of my properly boxed package that was going to Massachusetts which was a lot less complicated than mailing internationally.

My Part 3: I do not know why I did this. When I left, I stopped at the entryway of the post office and I looked out at the parked cars. The woman was sitting in her car and not backing up. Was she cooling off? Or was she waiting for me?

My Part 4: So…I stayed put and waited. And waited… until she finally drove off.

My Part 5: As she drove off, I noticed that she was driving an expensive car. To my way of thinking, that explained one of the reasons she acted “so privileged” throughout the scene in the post office. I would not be surprised if throwing fits was her way of getting whatever she wanted.

My Part 6: Two days later (there was a snowstorm in between) I went back to the post office with a stack of Christmas cards and a small gift bag for the very harassed postal employee. I had included my contact information in case she needed a witness to the incident if the woman followed through with her threat to file a report.

It’s a tense time of year, especially this year. Choose to take a breath and realize everyone is just trying to do a good job. Don’t take your frustrations out on others.

Until the next time...

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Hitting a gas pump...

 {This is a true story of my adventure moving to New Hampshire in March, 2018 while driving a rental truck.}


Well…we finally made the move to New Hampshire, and of course, there was drama. For those who don't know me, if there wasn’t some sort of drama in my life, then it means I'm dead. Drama has followed me gleefully since I was a baby.

As we did when we moved up to Northampton, Massachusetts 14 years ago, we rented a truck to take our possessions to our new home and I was the designated driver.

When I was describing to the Penske Representative how much furniture and stuff we owned, I over estimated. It was suggested that I rent a 26’ truck and I said, “Why not?” Oh, such a big mistake. I should have rented a 22’ and things would have turned out so much better than they did.

When I picked up the truck, I couldn’t believe how BIG it was. It looked like a mini-version of an 18-wheeler. Holy crap! There were two steep metal steps that I had to climb to get up into the cab. Yikes!

I joked to friends that my driving a large rental truck up I-91 would result in my appearing on national news. And before my trip was over, that came very close to being true.

One of the men that I hired to help load up the truck, backed it out onto the road for me (he is also the one who pulled it in to the driveway) so I could begin my trek. I couldn’t tell if the transmission was in “Drive” or at a lower gear because I couldn’t get it to go above 25 miles an hour. Since the State Patrol Headquarters was nearby, I stopped for instructions. The Trooper was very kind and helpful. I had been in “Drive” the whole time!

My next issue was accelerating and keeping it at about 50 miles an hour. It was a struggle and scary as hell. I stopped at the Vermont Visitors Center and had a nice chat with a driver of an 18-wheeler. The best advice he gave me was to keep the headlights on and to use the flashers if my speed went below 50. A two-hour trip took four hours as I rumbled up I-91 at 35 miles an hour using the flashers the entire time.

My next hurtle: Up near Exit 6 on I-91 (VT), there is a bridge that has been under construction forever. It is a one-lane nightmare. I've seen 18-wheelers barrel through that section so I know it can be done. But not by me. I drove very slowly, between 5 to 10 miles an hour. I was so afraid of having an accident and blocking traffic for hours. Thankfully that did not happen. Right after the bridge is a steep hill which requires momentum to climb it which I didn't have, so the truck had to crawl up the hill, while cars went speeding by.

Mary had done some research in finding a local motel where we could keep the truck overnight with easy access into and out of their lot. I woke up on that fateful Tuesday morning to find the truck covered in snow from a blizzard. Schools and businesses were closed for the day. Could it get any worse?

We were concerned that due to the storm we wouldn’t be able to have the truck unloaded. The movers (Robert and Mark) that I had hired from Daniels Moving and Storage were wonderful. With the snow falling heavily, they continually swept off the ramp. There were many times that they ended up sliding down the ramp carrying our beloved possessions into our new home.

After six hours of unloading, it was time to return the truck, thank goodness! The night before, Mary and I had searched for a gas station near the drop off point and we found a Sunoco. If I didn’t return the truck with a full fuel tank we would have been charged $8 a gallon! In retrospect, that would have been a much wiser way to have gone.

There were two driveways to enter the station and I took the first one which put me and the truck too close to parked cars in front of the station. I was so worried about the cars as I was rounding the pump, that I wasn’t making a wide enough turn. Then I heard a GIANT CRUNCHING sound. OMG! I hit the gas pump. Crap!

I immediately turned off the engine, and ran into the station saying, “Call 911! I just hit a pump!” My main concern was that an explosion could happen, and all the people at the station could be hurt. No one seemed concerned. The staff just shut down all the pumps. I could see heads popping up as people realized there was no gas being pumped into their tanks. The pumps were slowly turned back on and when they got to mine, they just left it off.

I insisted that the police be called. My first encounter with the local Police Department started off badly. I addressed the individual as “Officer” and he informed me that he was a Corporal. Yikes! I almost rolled my eyes, but I don’t look good in orange and didn’t want to go down that path. 

The Corporal then asked for my personal car insurance card, which I’ve never carried on me and probably should. I just stared blankly at him. All I could think of was that I was not driving my car. I was driving a monster of a truck which I definitely didn’t have an insurance card for.

He then called Dispatch and asked them to verify the Indiana license plates. He informed me that they weren’t showing up in the system. Oh God, could this nightmare get any worse? 

I showed him my Penske paperwork and he called them to verify it was their truck. (What did he think? That I had stolen it and painted the Penske logo on it during the night?)

He explained the situation to the Customer Service Rep who informed him that the limited liability coverage I had paid for only covered damage to the truck and not to property. And, a gas pump is considered property. Yikes! It just kept getting worse.

I tried calling my Insurance Company in Massachusetts, but due to the snow storm, they were closed. Their recorded message said to call their Insurance Claims Department, which I did. It seems that their office was closed as well. 

In the meanwhile, I had to return the truck and the office closed at 5 p.m. It was 4:30. I needed to get the infamous diesel or pay a late fee of $109. First, the truck was straddling the u-shaped metal protector at the end of the island.  It sure didn’t do a good job of protecting the pump.  

It was suggested that I move the truck and I just stared at the Corporal. He drove it over to the diesel pump. Sunoco staff couldn’t assist me with fueling the tank. Mary who had just come over from her office, volunteered to do it for me. The other option was to drive several miles to another gas station (the next victim) and seeing what damage I could do to their station.

The next morning, I called my favorite person at our Insurance Company back in Massachusetts.  I was informed that my policy didn’t cover damage that occurred while I was driving a rental truck.  She suggested that I call my credit card company. She knew that her credit card company covered accidents if the rental was charged on the card.

I then called my bank and was given the number to the Card Benefit Services where I had a lovely conversation with one their Customer Service Reps based out of Richmond, VA.

With my sense of drama and a touch of humor thrown in, I had her laughing about all I had experienced. I realized that the details of “the incident” would make a great monologue if I ever decided to be a stand-up comedian.

Unfortunately, she informed me that the policy to pay for damage when renting a vehicle applied only to cars but not to trucks or vans. Double shit! Well…it looks like Sunoco was getting a new gas pump thanks to my checking account. Could it get any worse?

Well folks, that old saying that “in every black cloud there is a silver lining” it's true in my case!

A week after “the incident” I heard from the Penske Claims Department. Sunoco had made a claim.  The Claims Adjuster called me for the details and I went into the saga of the whole event. She informed me that she would need to do some research and would get back to me and she did!

Penske would pay for the damage to the gas pump. The reasoning was that it was not a malicious act on my part and I was the driver of record on the rental policy when the "the incident" occurred -- hence I was covered. Amazing! 

P.S.  I am done driving rental trucks. In my lifetime, I have driven five of them and this last one did me in. For our next move, we will be using Daniels Moving and Storage again. They were the ones who unloaded our possessions in the freaking snow storm. They are my heroes. Plus, they know how to drive a moving truck!

Until the next time…

Friday, December 4, 2020

Life's Many Annoyances...There are So Many!

              

 I made up this list years ago while sipping a Latte on a snowy day!

·       Zero Chance of Rain – that’s what the weatherman said and it's raining cats and dogs!

·       Dusting – what’s wrong with leaving love notes on the furniture?

·        Colonies of Dust Bunnies – can’t they find somewhere else to live? 

·       Making the Bed –is it really necessary to do every day?

·        Dental Flossing – every night?

·       Exercise – bad for one’s health!

·       Folding Undies – what's wrong with just throwing them in the drawer?

·        Trimming Nails – especially toe nails, hard to reach!

·       Shaving Legs – Hobbit toes anyone? Plus, what's wrong with the braided look???

·       Getting ready for bed – why does it take so long?

·       Missing Socks – where did they move to?

·       Ironing – there is a good reason for cotton, a good shake and you are off and running!

·       Selecting Clothes – what to wear to work ??? – having a uniform when in grade school made life so much easier!

·       Showing up on time to meetings, events – not a problem, I’m consistently late!

·       “Can you hear me now?” –  isn’t that what satellites are for?  


·      Umbrellas – own three but they are never where I and the rain are!

·       Pulling Weeds – they grow faster than my plants do, why?

·       Stop Signs – especially the 4-way ones, what happens if everyone goes at once?

·       Not finding a State Patrol Officer when some creep is following you - yikes!

·       Finding a State Patrol Officer when you are going over 80 mph!

·        And, doing chores, where's the fun in that?

Until the next time...