Good-bye Annie

Annie died Monday night, September 29, 2014, after losing her battle to ovarian cancer. She was only 41-years old, and the mother of a nine-year old and five-year old. She also left behind her husband of 22 years, Ozzie.

I knew Annie through Smith where she and I both worked. Also, I had met her husband, Ozzie, through a weekend job I held at a local Real Estate office where Ozzie was an agent. I never had the privilege to know her well or call her my friend. I first heard of her illness only a few months ago by a mutual friend.

Since then I have been following her through Facebook. I read an amazing interview she gave to Ayse Arman, a journalist from Istanbul. One of Ayse's questions to Annie was “How do you manage to be so strong?” Annie’s reply: “Do I have a choice? Maybe I won’t be alive in a couple of weeks. Actually, there is no maybe: I just won’t be alive. But I am alive today. And life is still beautiful, and so are my kids. One of them is 5, the other one is 9. I am trying to make the best of my last days with my kids and my husband Özgür. I’ve lived beautifully and I am dying beautifully. Hiding your head in the sand is not the solution. You have to face it, even if it’s death...”

“I’ve lived beautifully and I am dying beautifully.” What a statement. After reading this article I marveled at how accepting and together she was. She didn’t hide from the fact she was dying instead she gave death a run for its money. If I was told I was dying I’d either be yelling “why” or sucking my thumb in a corner. Not Annie.

She made videos, wrote letters and had quilts made for both of her children from clothing she had. She wrote a song for Ozzie. She planned a future for her family. What a brave wise woman.

Ayse also asked Annie if someone told you: “You have this much time left! What’s that like? What do people feel when they hear it?" Annie's reply: “Of course, it’s hard. It’s difficult to accept. However, I’ve always been an open person and I would want people to be open with me. I am a person who lives openly and I am dying openly. I wasn’t shocked. I didn’t experience a tantrum. I am not mourning. But I am sad. We are still so much in love with one another. I won’t be able to experience this love. I won’t be the mother of my children anymore (She cries). However, there is nothing else that I can do aside from accept it.”

Ayse's final question to Annie "Is there something called “dying beautifully?” Annie: There is, it’s me. 

She left a song she sung for Ozzie who found it after her death. Go out to YouTube and search for “Sweet Dreams for Ozzie.” One of these days when I’m down or blue I plan to listen to Annie sing it again. And, then I will pick myself up and march forward with my head held high. Thank you, Annie for giving me that gift.