I'm Allergic to Fire!

I’m afraid of fire. You would think that I would never put myself in harm’s way because of my fears. There are three separate times in my life where I have experienced closeup the effects of what fire can do when unleashed.  

When I was a child, my mother was a nurse at the hospital on the Air Base where we lived. In her mind, to keep me safe from fire she told me how dangerous it was. Anytime someone came in that was a burn victim, I was given vivid details of their injuries.

Fire #1:
Needless to say, I stayed away from flames and I didn’t even light my first match until I was 21. And, that was only under duress from a sorority sister who thought it was time for me to deal with my fears. I did manage to light a candle, though it took many attempts, and in celebration we went down to the kitchen to get a snack.

Luckily, we came back in time. The flame from the candle had engulfed a number of magazines, and was making its way toward the curtains. I went into freeze mode, and was no help whatsoever. Quick thinking, and a cool head from my cohort kept our sorority house from burning down that night.

Fire #2:
Husband #1 and I saw an orange glow in the southern skies one night while living in Vero Beach, Florida. We rode towards the glow on his motorcycle, and many miles outside of Vero we found the cause.

A huge grove of palm trees was on fire. Many firefighters from nearby towns were doing their best to get it under control. We had pulled off the road and were close to a small group of homes. There were owners spraying their roofs down with garden hoses. There were embers in the air but we were still at a safe distance. We watched the palm trees exploding from the intensity of the heat. It looked like fireworks shooting out from the trees. We sat on the motorcycle mesmerized by the sight and sound of the flames consuming all the vegetation. Then the wind shifted.

We didn’t realize how fast the fire was moving toward us. Embers were landing around us. People were yelling and moving quickly off their rooftops. Did I mention that when we got off the main highway, we had cut through some rough terrain to get to where we were? Our only option was to ride toward the houses, and use their road to escape.

At this point, embers were hitting us, the heat was getting intense, and I’m screaming inside my motorcycle helmet. Husband #1 guns the engine and we shoot down the road weaving around debris and embers. People were backing out of their driveways, and we were competing for the same road space. Words of advice -- stay away from exploding palm trees. They can be dangerous to your health.

Fire #3:
After leaving ex-husband #2, I moved into an apartment complex overlooking the Potomac River in Washington D.C. The very day I moved in, I heard several women mention how often the fire alarms would go off in the building, and they just ignored them.That night the alarms went off. I looked out into the hallway saw nothing, and went back in.

A week later, I’m watching TV and I heard a “boom” and felt a “thud” near my kitchen. I walked in, and felt the wall to the adjoining apartment but didn’t feel anything so I went back to watching T.V. About twenty minutes later the fire alarm starts going off and, of course, I just ignored it. 

Normally, it shuts off and this time it just kept going. This time I looked out into the hallway. There was smoke, but I could still see down the hallway. What do I do? I go into my closet and start choosing items that would be appropriate to wear. It took three tries, before I found the perfect outfit. Hey, I didn’t know when I’d see my apartment again.

I opened the door again and there was more smoke and several firemen. They were breaking down my neighbor’s door and I could see flames -- lots of them. Oh shit! Did I mention I lived on the eighth floor? Next problem, do I lock my door or not? That problem was resolved when a fireman entered my apartment and checked my kitchen wall.

He said the building was well made and the fire more than likely wouldn’t come through from the adjoining apartment but they would keep checking to make sure. In the meanwhile, he strongly suggested I leave which I was planning to do but then another problem arose.

All of my neighbors were ignoring the alarm. I started beating on doors as I headed toward the staircase yelling that this was the real thing. At this point, people started opening their doors. I made it outside when I realized I should have tried on a fourth outfit. It was so cold out, and I ended up being outside for more than a hour, though it felt much longer.

I’m standing by the fire trucks, and trying to get information on how my kitchen wall was holding up, when my neighbor walks up. He must have gotten a phone call because he knew it was his place that was on fire. But he wanted to be sure, and I made it abundantly clear that it was. I said something whiny about “I’ve only been here a week.” Come to find out, the cause of the fire was the gas pipe connected to his stove had developed a crack and the fumes filled up the stove and blew off the oven door which hit the wall. Yup, that was the “boom” and “thud” I had heard earlier.

Finally, I got back into my apartment and I had a lovely conversation with a fireman about why all my windows were opened. My apartment had filled up with smoke so they were trying to air it out for me. They even loaned me one of their big fans. I realized that I would be spending a lot of time and quarters in the building’s laundry room. Even after this event, the daily fire alarms were ignored by everyone…even me.

After one burning candle, acres of exploding palm trees and one cracked gas pipe, I’ve come to the conclusion, that fire and I don’t mix. Good thing I’m an earth sign, and not a fire sign!