Labels are for Cans

I grew up in Nebraska during the 70’s. Three things were important: Being a Republican; knowing that the Cornhusker football team was the only University team that existed; and worshiping Johnny Carson. By the way, he grew up in Norfolk, Nebraska, attended the University of Nebraska and ended up on national television for over 30 years.

What else is there?  Not much. I lived in an environment that assumed you would marry the first guy you ever kissed, that you would raise your children in a house with a white picket fence and live happily ever after.

I do live in a house with a white picket fence adorned by the way, with red-metal stars. I am raising kids - they just happen to have four-furry legs. I am living with the first and only woman I’ve ever kissed, and we are living happily ever after. By the way, I am no longer a Republican.

In my various careers, I have worked at two co-educational Universities, The Ohio State University and The University of Virginia. Neither prepared me for Smith College. I have grown and learned so much from the Smithies that I’ve come to know over the years.

I’ve learned that labels are for cans and not people. That women come in many colors (a woman of color) and, “fluidity” has nothing to do with liquid in a glass. I am fascinated by the concept of “fluidity.”

When I first came out at the age of 49, I had a lot of misconceptions about what it meant to be a Lesbian. Obviously, I had spent far too many years hanging out in Nebraska as a Republican. One major misconception of mine was that two women when in a relationship consisted of one being butch and the other being femme. The male/female stereotype strikes again. Hey, give a gal a break. I was new at this.

In my new state of being, having left one world and entered another, I made certain assumptions. One is that once you made the “great leap” that was it. Looking back, that thought is so ridiculous. What was I thinking??? Fluidity is not a label. It is a statement of being…one’s true self.

Until next time…