Ex-husband #1 - He Apologized for How He Treated Me...WHAT!

I was married to ex-husband #1 twice. Pretty crazy, I know. First time was from 1978 to 1980. Second time around, was from 1981 to 1983. I ended up being his ex-wife #2 and #3. I had no contact with him until he sent a friend request on Facebook in October 2009. The emails replicated below are the only communications we have had to date.

Initially, I responded to his friend request and then later deleted it. I was curious about this person, later writing to the email address listed on his Facebook account. Some information made sense and some didn't.

Please note: None of the email addresses are correct. Only my blog address is.

--- On Sat, 10/3/09, Sharon Elaine <osharonelaine@whyme.com> wrote:

From: Sharon Elaine <osharonelaine@whyme.com>
Subject: Who are you?
To: Ex-husband1978@because.com
Date: Saturday, October 3, 2009, 6:47 AM

It wasn't Facebook that deleted you.  I did. Once we became friends, I saw your bio information and it showed a birth date of 1960. The ex-husband I knew was born in 1955. I was uncomfortable keeping you as a friend. If you could kindly explain why you think I know you, it would be a great help to me in whether we become Facebook friends.

--On Sat, 10/3/09, Ex-Husband<Ex-husband1978@because.com> wrote:

From: Ex-husband <Ex-husband1978@because.com>
Subject: Re: Who are you?
To: "Sharon Elaine" <osharonelaine@whyme.com>
Date: Saturday, October 3, 2009, 12:33 PM

Hi Sharon, March 21st to be exact. I am the ex-husband you are thinking of.  I have been in the computer business since 1981 and I have never played around with Facebook or any other social networking site. Being the pragmatist that I am, I have not been amused by such frivolity. My focus has been almost exclusively business related. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a stick in the mud. I just haven't looked to computers for entertainment because I work with them all day. I approached Facebook with apprehension since much of my professional focus is computer security and privacy. I created (more like fabricated) my account about the time I started looking for you. You may also notice that the account indicated I am from Laramie and attended Laramie schools. (As you know, that's not true). I'm still Facebook challenged. As I become more comfortable with the whole concept, I'll lighten up. Enough of that. For my own selfish reasons, I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for being the creep that I was. I don't expect you to really care after all this time.  Nevertheless, I have wanted to tell you for years. I'm sorry. I am interested in how things have been for you, if you are interested in telling me. --- On Sat, 10/3/09, Sharon Elaine <osharonelaine@whyme.com> wrote: From: Sharon Elaine <osharonelaine@whyme.com> Subject: Re: Who are you? To: "Ex-husband <Ex-husband1978@because.com> Date: Saturday, October 3, 2009, 2:12 pm I've wondered for years what became of you. Did it work out with you and Paula? Are you still together? Did you two marry for the second time? What part of the country are you living in these days? What you wrote: "For my own selfish reasons I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for being the creep that I was. I don't expect you to really care after all this time. Nevertheless, I have wanted to tell you for years. I'm sorry." those words really hit home with me. It was what I always wanted to hear from you. Thank you for saying them. A few of my friends know that I married and divorced the same guy twice. I rarely mention that interesting fact. I just say that I have three ex-husbands. That is not a typo. By law, I've had four marriages and four divorces with men. I like to think of it as just three ex-husbands. My life has turned out to be much different than I had expected it would. I've always thought of writing about my life since it reads like a sitcom. Mother pushed me into being married again after our divorce. She believed that a woman couldn't be fulfilled without a man. She died in 1998 from bladder cancer. She lived with me for the last 2-1/2 years of her life due to having Alzheimer’s. Remember Bob, my step-father? He died in 1991 after having Alzheimer’s for over 15 years. I have been living in Massachusetts for the past five years. One of the reasons we moved up here from Virginia was at the time it was the only state that had legalized same-sex marriages. Mary and I were married in December of 2004 and I took her last name. If you want to know more about my life, go out and read my blog at: ohsharonelaine.blogspot.com If you are not in total shock by now, I would be interested in hearing how your life turned out. My Best, Sharon From: Ex-husband<Ex-husband1978@because.com> To: Sharon Elaine <osharonelaine@whyme.com> Sent: Saturday, October 3, 2009, 4:14:48 PM EDT Subject: Re: Who are you? Sharon, I am so happy that it mattered. Sounds like you must have found two other guys who didn't know what they had. I guess I was suppose to be shocked by your marriage to Mary. Can't blame you. Most guys are jerks anyway. Paula and I were together for quite a long time. It became very lonely for me though, like living with a child. She immersed herself in ignorance. Having an intellectual conversation was not a possibility.   I am married to a wonderful woman now and if you want a shock, I have a 2-year-old daughter. She is the coolest thing in the world. Since you may be wondering, my wife is 16 years younger than me.     I now live in Colorado. For the first time in my life since the town I grew up in, I'm all domestic living in a conventional neighborhood. Paula and I had a house on a lake which I left with her. Other than that, I have always been in a condo or something else less than conventional. I'm not a fan of these cracker box neighborhoods, but it is good to have kids around for my daughter. This brings peace to my life. Thank you for being gracious. My best, Ex-husband #1