The Bank Robbery

I wrote this fiction piece from a writing prompt I found in the book “642 Things to Write About” by the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto.

Damn it! I’m running late to my dentist appointment. I have no time to be part of a bank robbery. What were these people thinking? Holding up a bank at 10:30 a.m. on a Wednesday morning? Didn’t they know people had plans? 

They insisted that we all lie down on the floor and not move. I’m wearing a short-sleeved shirt and capris and lying on a cold stone floor is extremely uncomfortable. Is this really necessary? Couldn’t they have planned this at a better time such as during the winter when I would be wearing a warm coat with leggings and boots?

Plus, I was told to keep my head down and not move. Are you kidding me? Did I mention the damn floor is freezing? I’m so cold, I’m shaking. I must tell the bank staff that their cleaning crew is not doing a thorough enough job. There are dust bunnies everywhere.

I just don’t believe this! One of the bank robbers is wearing a pair of Keds designed by Taylor Swift. They are classy with a figure of a cat’s head on the heel of the shoe and they are very pricey. Could she be robbing the bank to help pay for her shoe fetish? 

I just realized why this situation seems so odd. All three robbers are female. How unusual. Should I mention to the one robber that her socks are two different shades of red? Think she’d be offended?

They are now asking for all our jewelry, money, and cell phones. The one wearing purple high tops is gathering all of our possessions. What about robbing the bank instead of us? Isn’t that the whole purpose of a bank robbery?

The alarm just started going off and that is making all three very jittery. Did I mention they were carrying guns? I hope they are NRA members and have had lessons on the proper technique of holding and using firearms. As we all know, guns can be very dangerous in the hands of someone who doesn’t know what the hell they are doing. I pray that they have some type of experience and don’t start shooting because the damned alarm is making them so nervous.

Finally, after three hours something finally happens. All of a sudden, they are asking us to stand in a tight circle facing outward and to slowly start walking out the front door. Hey, don’t they know there is a squad of men with loaded guns right outside the door? I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t want to be considered a moving target. Well, I guess I have no choice at this point. I’m not the one holding a loaded gun. I do what I’m told.

Just as the last of us squeezes out the doorway, a string of firecrackers goes off.  One of the robbers had set them off. We all go running in different directions, screaming our heads off, causing quite a disruption which is what our three wanted. In all of the confusion, they got away.

Afterwards, the police were taking descriptions of the robbers. I was able to tell the officer that one of the robbers was wearing black Doc Martins and had a husky voice. The one wearing Taylor Swift’s Keds had a whiny-baby sounding voice. And, the one in the purple high tops with the red socks had a very southern accent and had a slight limp.

The fact that the robbers were female made national news. Other than that, they were never found after taking all of our jewelry and the money from the bank. They did leave our cell phones behind so at least I’m still functional. Unfortunately, I’m missing a lot of bling.

P.S. – I was in the grocery store recently and looked over at this nicely dressed young woman wearing a pair of Taylor Swift Keds – could she have been one of the three bank robbers? I will never know.

The End!