What is Family?

Fam′ i-ly n. the members of one’s household; close relatives; a social unit, such as a tribe; a related group, as of certain plants or animals (from Webster’s Pocket Dictionary, 2002 Edition).

Since I was a small child of six or seven, I have been on the hunt for a family to belong to. Yes, I had two people in my life whom I called Mommy and Daddy, but we were not a “family.” We were three humans living under the same roof and remained that way until my father died when I was 17. Life improved somewhat after his death, but I still felt that my mother and I did not constitute a “family.”

My vision of a family was a group of people consisting of parents, grandparents, siblings and their girlfriends or boyfriends, aunts, uncles, multiple cats/dogs, and a picket fence. Events such as: births, christenings, graduations, weddings, funerals, family reunions, and celebrating the holidays with huge dinners and lots of presents, were part of the picture.

This was not true in my case. We never invited over to the relatives for the holidays, nor did we go to any of their houses to celebrate. When I asked, “why?” I was told that Daddy’s relatives lived in Philly out on the East Coast, which was too far away to travel. And since we never visited them, I thought that the East Coast had to be another planet, far, far away from Nebraska.

While I was attending the University of Nebraska in Lincoln, I latched on to anyone who would invite me to their house for the holidays. I was never happier, even though I wasn’t part of their family. It was always such a wonderful time plus there was great food to boot!

In my mid-twenties I got married (ex-husband #1) and thought, finally I’m in a family. No such luck. I just didn’t fit in with them. They were my first experience with a large group of people who were members of  a “dysfunctional family." That was truly a mind blowing experience! First time in my life, when I thought I might be "normal."  Both ex-husbands' (2 & 3) families were better, but I never developed a history with them so it still didn’t feel like "family" to me.

So when Mary came into my life with a large family, I thought bingo! How lucky could I get? Unfortunately, her family decided not to have contact with us. We were sad over their decision, but we moved on and created our own family.

Our family consists of Fast Eddie and Miss Gracie (our four-legged fur children), some amazing friends, and of course, we have each other. What more could one ask for? Life is good!

Until the next time...